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adamsparke

Devon!
89 Watchers18 Deviations
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Yes its me.
Weirdofish, I know you hate my guts badly, I don't blame you at all, I know how bad I was REALLY treating you when we were together. I shame myself for being too happy & too demanding. I know that's the most terrible things you never liked about me the most. Weirdofish, I am sorry for being a bastered to you & your feelings & not trying to understand better of the situation that was going on when you were most bothered by my visits. I know that by now I should be over you, but there's a little light of care in me that's looking at you. I get many flashbacks at times & I fight them off as much as I can. But they won't go away. I need the privilege to speak to you again to confess up my pathetic mistakes & ways. I have tossed them out of my life forever & made a new path in life I wish to share with you. No, I won't demand any pics we both know you hate to make. All I could ask for is to speak to you again & start over from scrap, I know you are forcoused on you ever so loven QFA. I still miss that magnificent story you peaced together on your own.

I just want to say to you, Weirdofish, I am sorry for my stuped demandings, pushing our relationship, not calling before coming over, & not giving you time to yourself. I have made too many mastakes with someone as wonderful as you, I should've reolized it when we were together. Now that I do, I am ready to take responsibility & change all that. Ive been told bad things about you from friends & even family.....when I hear those, I cant help but feel very affended. I don't think of you that way at all, because that little light that's there is keeping me from lowering myself down to the levels of people we had to put up with in school. I know you HATE HATE me, but don't think I am NO different then before. Believe it or not, I have changed A LOT. You have a magnificent talent no one else posseses. One's art style is one's only, no one else has your style. Even if others have better looking styles, they don't have yours. I need to make closer to the dreadful past between us & make a new begging for us both.

I really miss you, & I could only wish to have you a part of my life again. I PROMISE you I won't be same stuped demanding, depressing old me. I am a different person now with my GOOD old habbits intacked, please Weirdofish, don't HATE me. I've never wanted to hert you ever.....I was blinded by my pathetic happiness & I shame myself for doing that forever. I hope that one day you will speek to me face to face again so we can close the doors of the terrabe past & make a better relationship for both of us. You have always been my closest friend in my life, you also made a big difference in my life as I did for you. Your friend.......adamsparke.

PS: Olive & Smuge say hi & misses you.
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Wow....its been forever & ever since I've ever made any journal entry. So....as the tittle says....I just miss her, I can't help but just have flash backs that come to me at times of our happiest memories. I know she HATES me because of how I couldn't stop being so dam attached to her. I know I am stupid for that, I won't deny it at all. She has not only blocked me, she refuses to hear me out, by how I have changed SOOOO much since the last we spoke. If I ever get one chance to speak to her again....I want to not only apologize, I will make anything up to her. I know by now I should be over her, but there's that very little light left in me that still cares about her. I am quite Shure everyone who cares to read this either doesn't care or doesn't want to get involved. Now let me say, I am no bad person at all. I just had a bad way of handling the relationship we used to have. If anyone would have a heart of gold, please tell her for me that I just need to apologize to her & have changed for the better for myself & for both of us to start over from scrap. I don't care how long it takes, I just can't find no one else out there in this dark lonely world I live in. I want to make an apology journal just for her to see so she can see how I really have changed. I have picked a new path in life I want to share with her & PROVE to her that I have changed more then she can realize.

Anyone who reads this & understands, thank you very much for understanding if you did.....& go ahead & leave a few comments behind to share your thoughts or suggestions. Anything negative, please don't we don't need to fight about this, its pointless to. Thanks everyone.
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I have lost the best thing in my entire life.......Weirdofish.......the one I protected.......the one who I sacrificed for. Now im hated like I killed something importaint to her & thought it was funny. For 7 years, we have always been so close friends.....now......we aren't ever going to be ever again. Why hate me like I am her dad? Why hate everything about me? Why cant I show how I have changed? All these questions will never become answered. I have been kicked out of her life because of my stuped requesting........I hate myself for every time I asked for a new pic of something......I haven't asked her tooooo much, but not the point.......I only wish I can say how sorry I am......I cry hard at my OCs never in the living of QFA anymore.

O, how happy I was when I made my very own OCs......we always talked about how excited we talked about QFA. I didn't make up the hole thing.....but parts of it......will never ever happen.................I still & always will be shaddered to ever find my fullest happiness again......her family........was family to my dear broken heart.....I never caused them any problems or anything like that.....im part of the reson why she was able to not give up on graduating. I was always there for her in her hardest times ever........


This weather is perfect for how sad I am for my OCs for never being alive anymore.........tears roll off my cheaks looking at all my dead OCs......the heartless destruction......the shaddered sole......looking at how much blood I see in my head that bleeds from their bodys & my heart.....again, why am I hated like I killed somebody in her family that means so much to her? I never got mad at her once........she always gave me a big smile......she always shined a happy heart to mine. Why do I deserve this pain, suffering, sadness & a lot, lot more. Cry I am.......nobody will give a dam about my sadness........why would anyone try? I am nothing more then a destroyed sol that cant become fixed........I miss my OCs.....QFA......Weirdofish.......everybody...


RIP my OCs........I sob & cry at all of your graves..........the wild adventures ive been so happy to see live shall never again surface........QFA......everyone there is friends & family to me......now I have been tossed out to death to her care & friendship. How can somebody do such a thing to a friend who has never gotten mad, hert or anything like that & still have such a happy spirit to have a Merry Chrismas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, birthday, 4th of July & New Years? I will never know.......I love you my dear dead OCs I will miss all of you forever..........


I miss QFA.......the thing we both loved a lot is now not a part of me anymore.........my OCs...............only I (probly) is the only one who will always miss you all. The wild adventures of QFA........no more.......I cry I cry & continue to cry very hard.....my hands shiver madly.....im falling apart so fast. I love & miss you......my old friend.

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The long wait is finial all over! My Rotor has arrived, now the very next step is to find out from a friend of mine somehow to get that Photoshop & that other one that I forgotten what its called. I don't know how long it'll be till I can post any deviations. But that day will come! I just hope I can get lesions on the Photoshop. Well that's all for now, ill be shure to update as often as possible.
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First off, I have been wanting to make a new journal entry for a very long time & I cant make one on my phone. On top of that, I never had the chance to use a computor for a very long time as well. Well thats that, now i've finialy gotten my new computor & now im trying to get the intornet all worked out in it. When its finialy done, im going to finaly get my own photoshop & any other drawing thing I can download. Then I will start making my own deviations all by myself! It will take some time for me to get the knowlege of how to use the program on the tablet part, sence I cant get any help or lession on it, o well.......but thats not all, I have a new Sonic comic in mind that ive been wanting to begin forever after a few new Spyro pics. However, I will not be getting any help making anything because I want to train myself how to become as good as friends of mine. Too bad it wont become as good as theirs.....at least not now. Well ill try to keep updating myself in these journals of mine as often as possible (even tho its like forever! XP) well thats all for now, see ya.
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Featured

(For Weirdofish) Hello Weirdofish..... by adamsparke, journal

I only wish I could tell WeirdoFish how sorry I am by adamsparke, journal

My Life is sucessfully destroyed......... by adamsparke, journal

Intornet is all mine at home!!!!! by adamsparke, journal

Big plains on the rise. by adamsparke, journal